Pregnant during a pandemic...where it all began
Hi everyone, I'd like to introduce myself first before I begin my story, I don't know how one should start off so let me start from the beginning so you could understand me better.
I've always been a realistic dreamer, planning my future...logically of course, get married at this age, have a baby at that age, get this midwife in that hospital with my sister who will rub my back while my husband holds my leg. These are realistic achievements that are so common it is weird to think it will happen any other way. Unless of course everyone dies in a freak accident but still, you have to admit this is common right?
Of course nothing happened like the way I thought it would. I got married later in life, and by later I mean to say in the eyes of my family I'm a senior citizen but regardless I still did it! Everything else that followed did not go exactly as planned. In fact it completely strayed off the my story grid!.
Well my name is Fatima, I live in Toronto, I'm married...oh and I'm pregnant. These are the main things you should know about me. My height and weight and appearance is not important...for now. I know I should not be announcing my pregnancy so soon as it is taboo to be telling people while in your first trimester however I felt that this situation was not only unique, but I realized I need a lot of support and this should not be a secret. Now of course I did not imagine I would ever live to be a part of a pandemic, these are things you read in history books while saying out loud "shit that's crazy", but unfortunately it happened and we all just have to move forward....right?
It all started a month ago.......or I should say two months ago around early February I suppose. My husband felt it was time to start thinking of children, I on the other hand felt it was too soon. We had just gotten married, we had debt to pay off and plus we were newly weds. Still getting to know each other, still adjusting to the new life. "We can do it, it will be easy!", he would say while we were sun bathing in mexico. It was my first time on a resort and growing up my mom would always tell me "you can go on vacations when you're married!". This type of freedom I was denied, as most east African or just unmarried Muslim women could attest to. I do not want to speak on behalf of all females growing up in a Muslim household but its an age old story we hear too often.
Here I am, in mexico, playing with monkeys in my backyard Literally!. Thinking I should've done this sooner, and I want more of this. A baby, no not now. I just tasted freedom for the first time. "Our next vacation will be in Jamaica", I would say already planning our next trip, " an this time we will budget better" I wanted vacations I wanted Jamaica and to splurge my hard earned money. I felt my husband did not understand that. He grew up doing whatever he wanted, because of course he's a male and females just have it tougher, that's just the reality whether you want to admit it or not. I remember my mom giving me a list of things to do to have a successful marriage and I was only on step 1 not realizing a child had already begun to grow inside of me.
I've always been a realistic dreamer, planning my future...logically of course, get married at this age, have a baby at that age, get this midwife in that hospital with my sister who will rub my back while my husband holds my leg. These are realistic achievements that are so common it is weird to think it will happen any other way. Unless of course everyone dies in a freak accident but still, you have to admit this is common right?
Of course nothing happened like the way I thought it would. I got married later in life, and by later I mean to say in the eyes of my family I'm a senior citizen but regardless I still did it! Everything else that followed did not go exactly as planned. In fact it completely strayed off the my story grid!.
Well my name is Fatima, I live in Toronto, I'm married...oh and I'm pregnant. These are the main things you should know about me. My height and weight and appearance is not important...for now. I know I should not be announcing my pregnancy so soon as it is taboo to be telling people while in your first trimester however I felt that this situation was not only unique, but I realized I need a lot of support and this should not be a secret. Now of course I did not imagine I would ever live to be a part of a pandemic, these are things you read in history books while saying out loud "shit that's crazy", but unfortunately it happened and we all just have to move forward....right?
It all started a month ago.......or I should say two months ago around early February I suppose. My husband felt it was time to start thinking of children, I on the other hand felt it was too soon. We had just gotten married, we had debt to pay off and plus we were newly weds. Still getting to know each other, still adjusting to the new life. "We can do it, it will be easy!", he would say while we were sun bathing in mexico. It was my first time on a resort and growing up my mom would always tell me "you can go on vacations when you're married!". This type of freedom I was denied, as most east African or just unmarried Muslim women could attest to. I do not want to speak on behalf of all females growing up in a Muslim household but its an age old story we hear too often.
Here I am, in mexico, playing with monkeys in my backyard Literally!. Thinking I should've done this sooner, and I want more of this. A baby, no not now. I just tasted freedom for the first time. "Our next vacation will be in Jamaica", I would say already planning our next trip, " an this time we will budget better" I wanted vacations I wanted Jamaica and to splurge my hard earned money. I felt my husband did not understand that. He grew up doing whatever he wanted, because of course he's a male and females just have it tougher, that's just the reality whether you want to admit it or not. I remember my mom giving me a list of things to do to have a successful marriage and I was only on step 1 not realizing a child had already begun to grow inside of me.
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